


A Bullet and a Promise

by Mandergee



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, One-Shot, Philinda October Challenge, one character killing another, tiny spoilers for season 2, yes I went there I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 05:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2535440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandergee/pseuds/Mandergee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes a promise can't be broken, but a person can be broken in the struggle to keep it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bullet and a Promise

**Author's Note:**

> This is an alternative version of "Love Is...". I didn't want to write an awful, angsty fic...but then this also happened.  
> For the Philinda October Challenge. Just a slight mention of Boris Karloff...because this went a little differently, so less was worked in, until people encouraged me to actually finish it.

“Do you remember that little film festival in Madrid?” She'd been so cold, she remembered, couldn't stop shivering until he'd pulled out a thick blanket and draped it over her shoulders, pulled her into the scent of woodsy cologne that clung to his shirt. He'd kept her there until she wasn't shaking anymore, and before long his arm had surrounded her and she'd never felt more comfortable. Had never forgotten so quickly that they weren't really there together- but for something larger. Two kids who were still figuring out the world, and they'd been on a mission to recover something neither of them really understood. A lifetime ago, even if the life had passed before her eyes before she knew it. “Was it Alfred Hitchcock?”  
“You didn't last long. I think you fell asleep before 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas'. And no,” He reminded her gently. “It was Boris Karloff.”

“It was a long time ago, Phil.” The cold was back again, an old nemesis she hadn't quite defeated, and she curled up beneath a blanket again- this time by a fire, and he wasn't there. He was thousands of miles away, decades from her, staring into the same flickering orange tongues of flame and remembering so he could forget.

“I had to carry you back to the car.” When she'd started to wake up it had been to the feeling of his arms sliding beneath her knees, hands soft against her bare legs when he'd cradled her to his chest. The credits were still rolling and the tiny field was full of light, and she'd kept her eyes closed against it, admittedly savoring the moment. When she'd been partnered with Phil Coulson it had been to strong objections- the majority from her mother, who despite her reservations and dislike of S.H.I.E.L.D Academy had been determined that her daughter would be with the best of the best. It had taken weeks, months for Melinda to learn that Coulson _was_ that best, and only a few months more for her to fall in love with him.

_I knew it would end this way_ , she could hear her mother tell her, and even in her minds eye her mother's face was sad. _You would fall in love with him, and he would leave you...as your father left me._

_It isn't his choice, Mama._

_Maybe not,_ her mother would reply, and the sadness deepened. _But he will._

It was a month ago now and he _had_ left as her mother predicted, replaced by someone who shared the same dimple at the corner his jaw and whose skin smelt of sandalwood when he used the soap his mother had sent for Christmas six years ago. She'd gone back to nature, his mother, burning incense and smoking weed with her bridge partners as her only son led his recovering agency out of the shadows. May could remember their house better than she remembered her own, and when she'd talked about taking him back there he'd fought it- told her his mother was better off without having to spend time repairing the gauges he'd leave in her wall.

So she'd taken him to a cabin in the outback, stocked it with supplies and spent her days watching him slowly begin to disappear, piece by piece.

Now Phil Coulson was gone, and in his place was someone who knew just enough about their friendship to make her days less lonely, but the nights a dream she could never forget. She could look at him and think of the man she'd loved, but what May knew as well as she knew she'd have to kill him was that he wasn't there anymore...so it wasn't Coulson who would die. But that wouldn't make what she had to do any less painful, and her heart ached with the thought of it.

“I'm going for more wood,” She let the blanket fall behind her and stood up, pointing her toes toward the flickering light of the fire as stiff joints popped and muscles protested the movement. He didn't look at her as her hand reached for the gun she'd hidden behind a brick in the mantle, and only blinked once as she pressed it against his skin.

“I love you, Melinda.”

“I know.” And as he fell to the floor he looked like Coulson again, eyes more blue than she'd ever seen them as they stared sightlessly into the tongues of flame that still licked viciously into the air. For a moment she wondered if she'd been wrong- if there had still been something left of him to save- or if there might have been time to still love him.

But a bullet and a promise had cost her the chance to find out.

And had cost her the love she'd never been able to have.


End file.
